My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
