I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
