When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize