You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
