Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
