your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
