so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
