He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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