Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
