she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
