dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
