absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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