That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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