hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
