i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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