so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
