You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
