On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
