Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
