guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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