dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
