just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you win again, gameday.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
