I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Where is the hickey?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They took my balls.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
