You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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