He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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