She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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