Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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