drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
