All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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