At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
