I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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