she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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