i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
