Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I had your ass I would rule the world
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
