Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
