It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
