Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
