just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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