I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
