God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
