i may or may not be watching the land before time
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
