Porn is love you can see.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
