I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
