I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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