we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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