i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
