Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
