I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize