I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
