babies were throwing up all over the place
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
