it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
