Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
