Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
