I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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