Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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