i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
