The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize