btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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