My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What happened to fro yo and sex?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
