So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
